If you sit on the toilet in the Starbucks bathroom at the Fox River Grove Jewel, you stare directly at the baby changing station. The cartoonish image of a baby in a diaper with it’s arms spread wide open looks back at you. Today, I had a brief staring contest with the image. I imagined myself, in this bathroom, with a real baby. Then I imagined myself walking around the store with a real baby. I saw myself strapping the real baby into the car and driving home, where I then took the real baby inside and sat with the real baby, laid on the floor with the real baby, talked to the real baby, watched the real baby, sang to the real baby, yelled at my dog to get away from the real baby, fed the real baby, held the real baby, changed the real baby, bathed the real baby…. cradled in the growing imagery, I lost track of the real me. I flushed, washed my hands, and got the fuck on with my life.